Friday Fess-up: 9th May

Hello there!

Part of the challenge in doing this blog is to figure out that sweet spot where the stuff I want to write about overlaps with the stuff you want to read about.  Of course I could ask you, but with the magic of WordPress statistics I can see behind the scenes what you guys like to read and what you don’t.

For example, people don’t really click on the links in my weekly Friday Fess-up.  That’s fair enough!  Originally I had thought it would capture some of the careers stuff I’ve been reading about as I go through my transition but actually I’m trying to wean myself off too much self-help nonsense anyway!

Formatting the images for all those links ended up taking a fair chunk of time so I’ve decided to dispense with that section (you could say I’m iterating my product!).  If you want to see what I’ve been reading for any reason you can just take a look at my twitter feed, which is also handily in the sidebar — I only tweet things that I would actually recommend another person spend their time reading.

I can also see that people don’t really click on the weekly infographic, but I like making them so I’ll keep doing them for now.  Meanwhile, I’ve reformatted it so it should appear bigger on your screen and you should be able to read it without clicking.

As a result of this weekly fess-up, Friday’s have become a real point of reflection for me, which I think is both healthy and a bit uncomfortable.  It’s been over 6 months since I left my job and I’ll admit — I kind of thought I’d have it figured out by now.  But I haven’t.  It shouldn’t be that surprising; not only am I changing careers, which would be hard enough in and of itself, but I’m also trying to work out what career to change to.

To do this I’ve been doing a lot of talking to a lot of people.  I’ve been discovering whole new communities, like the fantastic Ada’s List — a group of exceptional women in tech, design, digital, STEM, and startups, who share emails alerting each other to opportunities, articles, events and generally bigging-up each other’s awesome achievements.

They also have in-person meetups, which is how I met a whole bunch of people who work in Service Design, UX Design, and various other jobs that I had never heard of before.  I even met a lovely lady whose offices I went to look at yesterday as possible temporary space for me to work.  I can’t get too excited because it might not happen but still!

I’ve also been working on various skills that I always liked using but maybe didn’t have the time to really stretch.  Writing, of course, but also techy stuff like programming and designy stuff like infographics and making my blog pretty.

I still have no idea where all this will take me, but I have a vague plan forming to help me find out.  Having this time to catch my breath has been great for getting some distance from the ways I used to work, but it’s also quite difficult to get things straight in your head and come up with ideas of where to go next in the abstract.

I’m not exactly lolling about all day, but it’s true you can think as hard as you like about these things and not get a jot further when you’re not out there getting new experiences for your ideas to feed off.  So that’s the plan I’m forming, how to move from observer to participant and get out there in the real world again.

It’s still baby-steps and I’m trying to take it one day at a time (which is killing me because I’m naturally so unbelievably impatient).  But I want to do this thing right and not rush it.  I’ll get there.  Eventually.


This week I have been mostly… having a fantastic time walking and exploring in South Devon, learning how to build a website, writing a bunch of blog posts which I promise to publish soon, and going to Grand Designs Live :)

WBF Friday Fess-up May 9th

I decided it was about time I had my own website, somewhere I can link to the various things I’m working on — almost like a digital CV, but one that’s much more relevant to what I want to do in the future than my actual CV!  I couldn’t find any templates that I liked the look of, so I decided to have a go at building my own.

I found a great online course aimed at complete beginners offered by Skillcrush.  I wrote to the ladies who run it and asked if I could take the course for free and write about my experience on Workerbee Free, and amazingly they said yes!  Read about how I got on with making my first website (and see the very rudimentary results!).

On Wednesday I also went to my first Codebar session.  Codebar is an initiative aiming to bridge the diversity gap in tech and encourage underrepresented groups (i.e. women, LGBT, minorities) to get into tech.  They run a coding club every week where you can learn how to program and talk to professionals about how to get a job in tech.

This is a photo from the Codebar session I attended but somehow I managed to make myself invisible!

This is a photo from the Codebar session I attended but somehow I managed to make myself invisible!

They have tutorials on their website in all the major programming languages which you can do at home or you can go into the club and work through them with a coach — one of the professional developers who volunteer their time to help newbies learn about coding.

It’s an amazing initiative and it’s completely free to attend.  It’s also a non-intimidating environment to ask those questions that can’t be answered easily no matter how much googling you do, like what’s the difference between the different programming languages and why would you use one rather than another.

I used the session to work through the first Javascript tutorial with a very patient developer from Chicago and a fellow student who was miles ahead of me — but then she does work on mobile apps for Net-a-Porter so I think I can be forgiven for being a bit behind!

Another webby thing I’ve been working on is finally pulling together a website for my novel!!

Life Lines website

People keep asking me about it and express interest in finding out when it’s finished but I haven’t had a way to gather that interest in one place.  Until now!  There’s a jazzy logo which I hashed together and a description of the book which is almost certainly bound to change as the book develops.  I cheated and used a template to make the site — shhh, don’t tell anybody!

Please take a look at the site — I’d love to know what you think. And definitely do sign-up if you’re interested!




Learning to code with Skillcrush

If you’re thinking about changing careers then the internet can be a wonderful and terrible thing.  Terrible because you can spend whole days reading other people’s stories about how they found the perfect job and are so much happier now and then you feel even worse that you’re not there yet.  But also wonderful because these days changing careers and getting new skills doesn’t mean you have to go back to school.  You can learn a lot about different jobs and industries online and pick up new skills without too much risk.

One of the skills I’ve been exploring is coding.  Before I quit my job last year I was getting up at 6am trying to squeeze in a couple of hours of coding before going to work in the morning.  It’s hardly surprising that I didn’t get very far that way!

Now that I have the luxury of time, I’ve been trying to pick this up again.  I started taking the fantastic introductory course offered by HarvardX for free on the edX platform but will admit I haven’t finished it yet.  One of the problems I had with following the course was that while it is a great and stimulating introduction to lots of complex concepts (the tutor – David Malan – is an incredible public speaker and teacher), I wasn’t applying those concepts to something practical.  I wasn’t using the skills to build something that mattered to me.

I wanted to build a personal website, from scratch, to act as an online CV or portfolio.  I needed a course that started from the absolute basics, was fun and engaging, and had enough support that I didn’t feel like I was doing it on my own.

That’s when I found the Web Developer course offered by Skillcrush.  I wrote to the girls who run it and asked if I could take the course and write about my experience here, and amazingly they said yes!  Thanks guys!!


So far I’ve done the HTML module and in two hours I feel like I’ve learnt enough to actually go and build something, which is a pretty awesome feeling.  That’s so much further than I ever got by reading online tutorials or “HTML for dummies”!

Skillcrush guide

You can see screenshots of the website I made below – it’s not live on the web yet but that’s my goal for next week.  OK, so it doesn’t look like much right now, and it won’t be pretty until I learn how to add the CSS — the language tells the computer what colours and fonts to apply — but still! HTML screenshot HTML screenshot (2)

This is what it looks like when I’m coding it:

HTML code

The Skillcrush course is made up of fun videos, exercises, and interactive coding, all supported by daily emails and a student / coach forum via Mightybell.  It’s great to see women from all over the world training themselves up and helping each other along the way.  Men are welcome too!

Adda, the founder of Skillcrush, is on a mission to get people learning marketable, digital skills.  She taught herself how to code so the course is set up for non-tech people who have no background in programming at all — which is perfect for me!

I have no idea where I will go with these skills but I’ve always felt held back not having digital skills and being someone who loves tech.  Finally, I’ll be able to build all those things I’ve been dreaming up!

What would you do with 15 minutes?

If someone gave you 15 minutes of uninterrupted “you-time”, what would you do with it?  How long do you spend each day reflecting on the previous day, week or month?  How often do you take the time to think about whether what you’re up to these days is actually what you want to be doing?

Whether you are a workerbee or working for yourself, very few of us take the time to check in with ourselves in the day.  We think we’re too busy, we couldn’t possibly find the time.  But 15 minutes – that’s not very long.  Surely we could find 15 minutes out of 24 hours?  And though it’s not long enough to get in the way of the rest of your day, it might well be long enough to do some proper thinking.  Or to just be still.  Or in fact to get up out of your chair and walk around, or go outside.  Just 15 minutes every day would add up to over 90 hours of deep thinking a year.  Bet you could dream up some cool stuff in 90 hours.

Of course you could schedule in your 15 minutes and set a timer on your phone.  But would you?  I have a reminder that goes off every day at 7am reminding me to take the time to meditate, and yet I’ve done it only once in 3 months.  Partly this is to do with mindset – I don’t think I have let myself truly value the act of meditation yet, so I don’t prioritise it.  But also, once I’ve dismissed the notification on my phone, I just forget about it.

If you’re like me and need a more visual reminder, how about this sitting on your office shelf?  Thought-provoking and pretty, what a great combination.

15 minute timer / The School of Life

15 minute timer / The School of Life

The 15 minute timer is available from The School of Life for £20, as part of their Tools for Thinking range.

What you would do with that 15 minutes every day?


I am not a company

No, you’re not in the wrong place.  You have not reflexively clicked on Buzzfeed. This is still Workerbee Free and I promise that the picture of a puppy featured below is absolutely relevant to this week’s essay. Trust me.


Last Friday I went up to Liverpool with my in-laws to help them choose a rough collie puppy to join their family. It was a burdensome task but, with gritted teeth, I somehow managed to get through a whole afternoon of rolling around on the floor with seven puppies, who were all only 5 and a half weeks old. Surely this is the best thing I’ve done with my free weekdays since I left my job?

We have actually been debating whether to get a puppy for ourselves, which is something Dan has always wanted and which I have only more recently come around to. If there were any lingering doubts in my mind they were summarily extinguished upon sight of those little bundles of fur.

I spent the rest of the week calling breeders as we began our own puppy hunt. In one case I found via a blog post announcing that the mating had taken place that morning. I had previously teased my mother-in-law for cooing over uterine scans of her potential puppies and here I was getting in on the game moments after the act had been completed. The blog even included some pictures of the parents-to-be “flirting”.

Having a dog makes much more sense now that I am working from home. It seemed a little cruel to all involved to get a dog while we were both working non-stop in the City, not least because my mum has a bit of a phobia and has categorically said she would not step in to look after it, even in an emergency. Now that I am at home, I’ll be there most of the time to hang out with the little guy, but also it will be there to keep me company.

It’s certainly one of the perks of being free — that I can make this kind of decision about my working environment — but it’s not exclusively a free workerbee benefit. My friend works at a solicitors firm where one of the partners brings his puppy to work with him. I think I would have been able to put up with a lot more crap at the various law firms I have worked at if there had been more pets hanging around.

My work buddy Gillian posted this picture on Instagram of a student who brought a dog in to one of the classes she was teaching at General Assembly.

firsttimeleader / Instagram

firsttimeleader / Instagram

Now there are some progressive big companies that have pet-friendly policies but these are generally the exception. When does that happen? When does a company get so big that something that raises people’s morale, makes people happy, and is generally pretty harmless, becomes a health and safety issue, a professionalism issue, a disruption? When does the company become bigger than the culture of the individual people within it?

Whenever I think about the nature of the corporate entity I am reminded of John Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath. The story is a powerful indictment of the insatiable greed of the capitalist system. The book is set in the Great Depression, when drought and over-farming of land resulted in the formation of what was known as the “Dust Bowl” and thousands of impoverished families were driven from their farms in rural America in search of work. It is a compelling social commentary on the decimation of the simpler way of life that dominated much of middle America in the decades preceding the crash. The story follows a poor family of tenant farmers – the Joads – who are kicked off the land their ancestors settled during the land grabs and head off to California in search of fruit picking work. They believe what awaits them is a Garden of Eden. They are sorely disappointed.

In one scene the tenant farmers are asking their landlords whether they can stay on the land where they were raised, that perhaps next year the drought will lift and they will be able to grow and pick cotton again. The owner says:

“We can’t depend on it. The bank – the monster has to have profits all the time. It can’t wait. It’ll die. No, taxes go on. When the monster stops growing, it dies. It can’t stay one size.”

So the tenants are forced to move off the land because the owners need to pay the bank. The dialogue continues as the owners say:

“We’re sorry. It’s not us. It’s the monster. The bank isn’t like a man.”

“Yes, but the bank is only made of men.”

“No, you’re wrong there — quite wrong there. The bank is something else than men. It happens that every man in a bank hates what the bank does, and yet the bank does it. The bank is something more than men, I tell you. It’s the monster. Men made it, but they can’t control it.”

Later, when the hired farm hands come to run the tenants off the land the tenants want revenge; they don’t want to go without a fight. They cry:

“But where does it stop? Who can we shoot? I don’t aim to starve to death before I kill the man that’s starving me.”

“I don’t know. Maybe there’s nobody to shoot. Maybe the thing isn’t men at all…”

Steinbeck was writing about the role of the banks in the Great Depression but it could just as easily apply to the Global Financial Crisis, and more broadly to how many corporations operate in our society today. It can often be difficult to discern in the actions of a big company the will and desires of the individuals that make up that company.

This comes up in so many contexts, in terms of values, prioritisation, budgeting, cutting corners, project management, product development, “restructuring”. Sometimes it is corporate governance, which is there to protect investors and other stakeholders. Sometimes management can hide behind their corporate duty of care and satisfy themselves that they are doing the right thing even if in their hearts they know they are not.

I have never personally had to consider this, but now I’m out on my own I set the culture, I decide how I do business. And the funny thing is that, even though it’s just me, only one little human being doing my own little thing, I sometimes catch myself forgetting I am a person and pretending to be a company, governed by all those powers bigger than me.

Take my email signature. This is what it used to be:

Check out my old email signature.  Fancy.

Check out my old email signature

Look at how corporate and official-sounding it is! I was an “Associate”! I had a title!

Then almost one of the first things I did after starting the blog was get a fancy new email signature for my personal email:

It felt lame to make my own one, but also kind of comforting.

It felt lame to make my own one, but also kind of comforting.

Clearly I was reading too many of those start-a-business books that tell you to “fake it ’til you make it” and try to appear bigger and more impressive than you are.

I also have this problem when signing up to events or conferences now. When they ask what organisation I work for I sometimes find myself putting “Workerbee Free” (they have no way of knowing that it’s just a blog) and when they ask for my position in the organisation I say “Founder”. [Incidentally, one of my friends — and the happiest man I know — lists his occupation as “Gentleman”. Genius.]

I have also noticed this posturing in the way I have set up the blog itself. I have been struggling with the wording of the little “About me” bio on the sidebar to the right of the posts. It’s the first thing people see so I wanted it to be good. All the blogging advice out there emphasises that your copy has to be enticing, intriguing, catchy, and unambiguous to the point of stating the obvious. No one says be honest; be yourself.

So, swallowing all this advice wholesale I finally came up with:

Old version of "About me"

Old version of “About me”

This was the 30th iteration or so, and I still wasn’t happy with it. The first bit is ok, I think, and I tried to be conversational and welcoming with the picture and the title. But the rest? “This is a real lifestyle blog about creating your own career and having fun along the way…”? This sounds dreadful. It sounds like sterile, stilted and vacuous. And it is an incontrovertible truth that anything that has to say it is fun invariably isn’t. It sounds like it was written by a robot.

This all dawned on me last week when I received an email from the guys over at Crowdwish. Crowdwish is an amazing startup and embodies all the values that I have been distilling and working out over the last few months. Simply put, it is an app that makes wishes come true every day. This I had to check out.

Turns out they use the power of the crowd to negotiate the fulfillment of the most popular wish voted by the users, every single day. This was an eye-opener for me. Here was a company that was built on passion and love. They want to make the world a better, happier place and they have made that the central mission of their company, not only in it’s “culture” but also in the actual product and customer experience.

I was intrigued as to whether they were planning on making any money with this idea, so I sent them an email to ask them. Miraculously, I got a response, and not just a one-liner. They said that they have plenty of ideas about how to generate revenue, in the fullness of time. But right now they are “just focussed on [their] users and trying to do something cool for them every day”. Nice. Finally, a company that is not trying to suck its customers dry.

But even more important than the actual response was the way it was delivered. Not an official statement, not a link to a press release. I got an email, from a real person. A full and detailed response. Like a human being. I was so preoccupied with the nature of the email that , of course, in an equally human way, I promptly forgot to respond to it even though I was thinking about it all week (sorry guys! I’ll get to it soon!).

This interaction made me rethink how I present myself online. I don’t have to conform to any norms (the internet is new, there aren’t many norms), I don’t have to please my bosses (I have none), and I can hardly make less money than I am now so there’s not much to lose. It confirmed to me that I want to do business in a way that feels right — and human — to me. I don’t want to pretend like I have thousands of readers on my blog. I don’t, at least not yet.

So I changed the bio. I wrote the truth, I wrote something that sounds like me. And I’d love to hear what you think – don’t be shy! It may seem like such a small thing, just a few words on the side of the thousands of words I write every week, but those few words are so much harder to write than the many.

Going forward, I really want to hold onto this idea, this sense of self, but I suspect it will only get harder the more wrapped up in things I get and the more established I become in this new world. So I must keep reminding myself: I am a person. I am not a brand. I am not a gimmick. I am not a company.

If you liked this post, please share it with one person you think would like it too. Thanks!

Love links, hate distractions. Now that you’re done, here are a few internet bits to put this article in context:

Gillian will be teaching her dog-friendly “Creating a Real Recruiting Effort in Your Start-up” class at General Assembly again on May 21st.

Check out Crowdwish here and start making some wishes.  Thanks to The Happy Startup School newsletter for highlighting the work of this awesome company!

When did starting up a business become the only acceptable reason to leave your job?

It seems like everybody is starting up a business these days. It’s the done thing. All the cool kids are doing it.

Indeed a recent survey by LearnVest in the US found that the two most aspirational careers right now are CEO (36%) and entrepreneur (28%), with lawyer and banker registering a mere 2% each. Hardly surprising.

It also seems that starting a business is the only acceptable reason to leave your job. I certainly felt that I could hide myself in a cloak of invincibility when I left my job at a big law firm and said I was leaving to start up a business. I didn’t say “I’m leaving to write a novel” or “I’m going to start a blog”, which are two things I actually have done since leaving. It’s not that I was lying to my former employers; I genuinely believed I would go start a business — I still do.

Of course this isn’t a new phenomenon. People have always started up businesses, we just didn’t call them “startups”. And there is a non-trivial difference between the types of businesses people are starting today versus what they left traditional career paths to pursue a decade ago. Continue reading

How do you Answer The Question: “So, what do you do?”

You’ve been making small talk, cranking the conversation generator, and maybe it seemed to run for a minute or two but then it stuttered and stalled. You are standing talking to a complete stranger and the worst thing ever is about to happen: lurking at the end of the next sentence is a moment of unbearable, awkward silence. One or other of you will be called upon to do the inevitable, one of you is going to have to pull the cord. You take a sip of your drink, you survey the room. The silence has descended, as you knew it would. Then one of you asks: so, what do you do? Continue reading

Why 30 is the Perfect Time to Change Your Life

Jessica Diamond / Flickr

The Big Three-Oh-Em-Gee

On Monday I turned 30. This was not a big deal, I hadn’t been dreading it at all, it seemed like just another birthday. In fact last week I was feeling very pleased with myself that I was being so reasonable and rational and grown up in not blowing it out of proportion. And then it happened. My ever-tactful sister, a doctor no less and therefore apparently trained in breaking bad news, announced, as if to the entire of the busy tube carriage in which we found ourselves squished, that she had spotted my first grey hair. Continue reading

What Went Wrong With My Career?

Robin Roecker / Unsplash

It’s taken about a year but I have finally reconciled myself to the position that my need to leave law after working so hard for eight years is not indicative of a catastrophic failure and my previous investments in my legal training and education – including that painfully expensive Masters in the US and those months at my desk that time has forgotten – were not a complete waste.

As I scratch my head and think about what I’m going to do next it seems like a good time to consider what went wrong the first time around. I want to avoid doing the same thing all over again and maybe help you avoid the same.

I suppose it all started when I was 17 Continue reading

A Day in the Life of a Free Workerbee

Image by Wagaboy on flickr

I had a jolt of realisation the other day when it struck me that I have been out of work for three months. Three whole months! Somehow I had thought that the time would pass more slowly because my days would be constructed of more parts — not just wake, work, sleep — but would also be filled with more variety and therefore pass more like a joyful pageant than the perfunctory flicking on and off of a TV screen. Of course I remember that my annual leave from work always used to flit by in a flash of exuberance, feeling more like a vivid daydream, a hallucinated trance, than a restorative rest from work. But I thought this more permanent state of “holiday” — a vacation from work as I knew it — would feel less ephemeral, more concrete, more purposeful.

When viewed from my desk during my final weeks in law, the prospect of so much free time seemed impossibly, almost dauntingly expansive. What could I do to fill all that time? Wouldn’t I get bored? And lonely? Since leaving my job other people have asked me the same questions and I see the disbelief in their eyes. What have you been up to?, they ask. What on Earth could you have been doing all day?, their eyes say. Or maybe not, maybe they are just making polite conversation. Maybe I’m projecting my insecurity that everyone thinks I’m a waster. This is the valley of doubt.

The thing is, now that I’ve been at it for three months, I can see exactly where the time goes. Continue reading

Novel Challenge Update: Holy Sh!t, I did it!

@peddhapati on flickr

OhmygodIdidit. I wrote a novel in one month. I haven’t written fiction since I was at school (not counting some of those legal memos…) and somehow I wrote a whole novel in 31 days, less actually. This must be what it feels like to have a superpower.

It’s not that I didn’t think I could do it. It’s that I didn’t think I would do it. It’s a weird forward-looking / backward-looking thing: I didn’t see myself as an old lady looking back on a life that included having written a novel at 30.

It has opened up a whole new world for me — one in which I really can do anything I set my mind to. Truth is, this world exists for all of us, it’s just that some people are out there doing stuff and the rest of us are too busy to join them. Continue reading